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     Bruce Wayne is broke and lives in a shitty apartment. He struggles to work basic things like a stovetop. He needs money. His landlord, The Penguin, informs Bruce that he’s late on rent. Dumbstruck Bruce has never had to pay rent before, doesn't get how it works. Penguin: “You’ve got bills. I’ve got bills. Buffalo has bills. We all have our burdens.” Bruce collects some cash from the junk drawer and barely pays the rent. Penguin says he needs backpay for three months rent as well.

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     Bruce meets with Commissioner Gordon on a rooftop. Gordon likes hanging out up there now that he’s out of a job. As Gotham's criminals have either left town or gone legit, the lack of crime has made Detective Gordon unemployed. The police are defunded and no one wants them back. “Without cops, there's no crime, and without crime who needs the Batman?” Like Batman, crime is all Gordon has ever known. Nowadays he just lounges around the house and sells weed. He asks Bruce if he wants an eighth.

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     Back at the apartment, Bruce gets a call from Catwoman. He can't afford to take her out. She calls him a broke-ass bum and tells him it's over. He promises that he’ll figure out a way to get cash. He overhears another girl giggling over the phone. Catwoman drops a hint that she's seeing another girl. “I gotta go. This Pussy is ready to purr.”

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     Bruce finds coins in his sofa. He considers going door to door to collect couch change. He meets with Twoface for advice. Twoface has gone legit working as an optometrist. “When I gave up crime people stopped being mean to me. At least to my face. Now that I'm an eye doctor they're nice to me. They call me Foureyes.” He states the theme to Bruce, warning him about moral autonomy - staying true to your values even when its unpopular.

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     Bruce learns that Gordon has been 'arrested' by the Social Justice Joker - he’s no fun, doesn't laugh, and cancels everything. Joker arraigns Gordon for committing a social justice crime - culturally appropriating Rastafarian culture. “Selling weed is fine, Gordy, but for God's sake lose the dreadlocks!”

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     Bruce needs cash to solve all his problems (rent, girlfriend, Gordon needs a lawyer). He visits a park to think, then sees a wealthy man drop his wallet. At first, Bruce says to himself that he should return the cash. Then he thinks that the wealthy man doesn’t need the cash that bad and won't miss it. “Is stealing from the rich really a bad idea? It makes a boy wonder. Screw it, I'm gonna go all batman and rob ‘em!” He grabs the wallet, then alerts everyone in earshot that there's a wallet thief in the area. He hopes this will get people to reconsider refunding the police. “If they're stealing wallets today, tomorrow they'll steal our pants!” The citizens of Gotham decide they don't want the cops tracking down missing wallets. They can do it themselves. They brandish guns and form a lynch mob.

 

     Bruce keeps the money. It buys him better treatment. The Penguin turns on Bruce's hot water. Bruce takes a hot shower. He likes it. He talks to Gordon on the phone. Gordon needs big lawyer money because the Joker is preparing a big case coming.

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     The humorless Joker interrogates Gordon about his crimes against social justice. Gordon claims he's made innocent errors. He was ignorant, not malicious. Joker condemns him at every turn with specious reasoning. Gordon is denied a trial by his peers because no jury can be intersectional enough. Joker will be Gordon's judge jury and executioner.

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     Bruce reaches out to Harley Quinn. She had to break up with Joker after he went into law and became boring. Bruce tells Harley about the wallet. He tries to explain it away as a simple misunderstanding - he's not a thief, he just needs money to save Gordon. Harley tells Bruce he's in luck because she still retains her criminal ways despite the fact that crime is nonexistent in Gotham. Poison Ivy isn’t her friend anymore because of it. Harley informs Bruce that Ivy and Catwoman are dating. Bruce is devastated by Catwoman's betrayal but he had his suspicions. Calls himself an easy mark. Harley gets curious about the wallet. “Show me the wallet, Mr. B. I wanna see you whip it out!”

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     Bruce and Harley sleep together. While he dozes, she uses his computer and 'does him the favor' of hacking other people's bank accounts to steal their money. He wakes up to find her doing this. He's upset. To calm him down, Harley says she did it for Gordon. “Besides they’re just numbers on a computer.” Bruce accepts the stolen money, but he denies that they've done anything morally wrong. Says it's all for ethical purposes. Harley convinces him that they’ll use every dollar to bail Gordon out of jail. Says that the only way to refund the police is by going big.

 

     Harley convinces Bruce to physically rob a bank. Harley is fully dressed for the occasion. Bruce wears a halloweeny burglar costume. They jump into Harley's getaway car holding bags of cash. She sits behind the wheel refusing to move. Bruce demanding to know why. She's embarrassed by his cheap look. He demands to know where she got the money to pay for her costume. They fight over money. Bruce says he took the money to refund the cops. He only robbed the bank to uphold the law. She admits she did it to empty the Joker's bank account so he’ll become a criminal again. “At least Mr. J dressed for the job. You’re no Mr. J, Bruce. You’re not even lame enough to be the Batman, and he was a big homo all dressed in leather.” They have relationship issues.

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     Bruce threatens to punch Harley. Joker arrives to stop him because violence against women is always unacceptable. Bruce wants to settle things with fists. Joker accuses Bruce of perpetuating toxic masculinity. They have a punch-out brawl. Just when Bruce gets the upper hand Joker claims to be a victim and begs to be taken to Arkham for rehabilitation. Bruce hesitates. Then Harley kicks Bruce in the balls. Bruce is down. The Joker laughs maniacally - says turning SJW was just a ruse to rob the bank. “Crime, social justice, oh what's the difference when it comes to stealing money?” Joker thanks Bruce for being a patsy. He and Harley leave with the cash.

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     Bruce returns to his apartment penniless and bruised. Twoface bursts in with some cops. Twoface admits to using Bruce to further his comeback as a politician. “Sorry Bruce, but in Gotham City we arrest the petty criminals so that the really good criminals can get elected. Without politicians nobody needs criminals.” Commissioner Gordon arrives late to arrest Bruce. As Gordon enters, he and Twoface notice an open window. The breeze is coming through strong. Bruce must’ve escaped! Wait, no. He’s just sitting on the couch out of view.

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     Bruce is taken out in handcuffs. Gordon tells Twoface how putting the former millionaire, Bruce Wayne, in jail might restore public sympathy for the police. Maybe even bring back the Batman. 

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     Twoface asks Gordon to sell him some weed.